...or so I hope.
This blog is more or less dead (look me up on Facebook, maybe, or check out my poetry). But I felt I should explain that my cat has been feeling quite fine ever since her incident, and everything is more or less back to normal. Normal being relative, of course.
20080607
20071207
Humble, part two
Zeitgeist's bloodwork came back normal. This does not mean there isn't a brain lesion involved, but it does rule out diabetes or any other common late-feline-life problems. Short of an expensive trip to a neurologist, there is no way to know.
She's been perfectly fine, if a bit clingy, since Sunday night. So I guess that's the end of the story for now. Will update as events unfold.
She's been perfectly fine, if a bit clingy, since Sunday night. So I guess that's the end of the story for now. Will update as events unfold.
20071205
Humble Moments
My cat is dying.
The worst of it is, I don't know if she's dying the way we are all dying, with the inevitability of one day at a time; or if she is dying because a lump of tissue is pressing on part of her cortex and could at any time cause her to twitch and foam and spasm until she is dead.
She had a seizure Sunday night, and I have been fortunate enough in my thirty-eight years to have never experienced anything like that first hand. The feeling of helplessness is overpowering.
She has been my companion for sixteen years, since the very day she was born. And yet, when she does go, within a week I am sure I will adopt one, perhaps two kittens. What does that mean?
The worst of it is, I don't know if she's dying the way we are all dying, with the inevitability of one day at a time; or if she is dying because a lump of tissue is pressing on part of her cortex and could at any time cause her to twitch and foam and spasm until she is dead.
She had a seizure Sunday night, and I have been fortunate enough in my thirty-eight years to have never experienced anything like that first hand. The feeling of helplessness is overpowering.
She has been my companion for sixteen years, since the very day she was born. And yet, when she does go, within a week I am sure I will adopt one, perhaps two kittens. What does that mean?
20071001
Steady State
I like How I Met Your Mother. This means that I'm usually locked into a good two hours of TV as one sitcom melds like swirly ice cream into another.
This season, HIMYM is followed by Big Bang Theory. The high concept is nerd, surrounded by nerd friends, pursues hot new neighbor.
The writing is better than average, and the characterization and casting do a reasonable job of differentiating the four nerd characters. What struck me immediately is the strong dichotomy that divides the four into two groups of two: Leonard, the main character (and Raj, the Indian friend that locks up mute in the presence of pretty women) are "just" severely awkward and socially inexperienced, hiding behind their intellect. Leonard's roommate, Sheldon, and their faux-suave friend Howard, are instead pathologically self-involved and oblivious; it's not that they are comfortable with their nerd identity -- it's more that nobody else really exists to them.
A lot of "reformed" self-empowered nerds (and I explicitly don't exclude myself) overcome the awkwardness, but the self-involvement is stickier.
This season, HIMYM is followed by Big Bang Theory. The high concept is nerd, surrounded by nerd friends, pursues hot new neighbor.
The writing is better than average, and the characterization and casting do a reasonable job of differentiating the four nerd characters. What struck me immediately is the strong dichotomy that divides the four into two groups of two: Leonard, the main character (and Raj, the Indian friend that locks up mute in the presence of pretty women) are "just" severely awkward and socially inexperienced, hiding behind their intellect. Leonard's roommate, Sheldon, and their faux-suave friend Howard, are instead pathologically self-involved and oblivious; it's not that they are comfortable with their nerd identity -- it's more that nobody else really exists to them.
A lot of "reformed" self-empowered nerds (and I explicitly don't exclude myself) overcome the awkwardness, but the self-involvement is stickier.
20070815
Hm.
Keep it simple ***
Valid during several days: This influence signifies a time of great uncertainty and possible confusion. Your objectives are unclear, and you may feel incapable of coping with even the ordinary details of your everyday life. One of the best ways to cope with this influence is to make your everyday life as simple as possible, because you are so easily overwhelmed at this time.
This is not a time of robust confidence. You are questioning almost every aspect of your life, particularly your goals and ambitions, your ability to attain them and even whether you are worthy of attaining them.
At the same time you may feel that your universe is constructed in such a way that you cannot ever live up to your ideals. Disappointment, discouragement and pessimism are all likely effects of this influence. The danger is that this kind of negative thinking may actually undermine your effectiveness in your work or other important activities. Feeling insecure often creates circumstances in which you really are insecure. Do not take things so seriously! Your negative state of mind is probably not justified by the facts of your life. This is just one of those times when your spirits seem to sag.
You should try to hang on without making any permanent decisions or commitments on the basis of your current pessimistic views. In a short time, you will understand that right now your view of reality is changing in a way that ultimately should be very constructive, although it does not seem so now. About two years from now, you will be able to make constructive changes in your life based upon your new understanding. This is probably not the best time to make changes.
Transit selected for today (by user):
Saturn Square Neptune
activity period from 14 August 2007 to 29 August 2007.
Valid during several days: This influence signifies a time of great uncertainty and possible confusion. Your objectives are unclear, and you may feel incapable of coping with even the ordinary details of your everyday life. One of the best ways to cope with this influence is to make your everyday life as simple as possible, because you are so easily overwhelmed at this time.
This is not a time of robust confidence. You are questioning almost every aspect of your life, particularly your goals and ambitions, your ability to attain them and even whether you are worthy of attaining them.
At the same time you may feel that your universe is constructed in such a way that you cannot ever live up to your ideals. Disappointment, discouragement and pessimism are all likely effects of this influence. The danger is that this kind of negative thinking may actually undermine your effectiveness in your work or other important activities. Feeling insecure often creates circumstances in which you really are insecure. Do not take things so seriously! Your negative state of mind is probably not justified by the facts of your life. This is just one of those times when your spirits seem to sag.
You should try to hang on without making any permanent decisions or commitments on the basis of your current pessimistic views. In a short time, you will understand that right now your view of reality is changing in a way that ultimately should be very constructive, although it does not seem so now. About two years from now, you will be able to make constructive changes in your life based upon your new understanding. This is probably not the best time to make changes.
Transit selected for today (by user):
Saturn Square Neptune
activity period from 14 August 2007 to 29 August 2007.
20070718
Lost in Love
Everything starts out great like it always does but then you lose a little and you think well that's how it's supposed to go no big deal but then you lose a little more and you panic just a little but you think maybe you're just settling in and that's normal and then you lose some more and maybe you fight a bit and after the fighting you vow to try harder and you make all the right moves and then you lose some more and that's not how it's supposed to go so you deny that you're losing anything for as long as you can and then you lose some more and you wonder if it's ever coming back and you really begin to panic not the little panic from before but things are too big and too complicated to contemplate and then you lose some more and you start to understand that it's not too big or too complicated but too small and too routine and you resolve to make that final effort but you lose some more and though you still care and you still want things to be alright you know that those things don't amount to anything in the grand scheme anymore because the absence and the loss are everything and there's nothing left to feel.
